Empty the nest

It was sunny today. We ran and worked and ate together. It's been seventeen years since we bought this house and the kids have moved on. For several years we have yearned for a next chapter. The part of our book that comes between kids at home and grand kids visiting. Fortunately, neither of our girls are in a hurry to give us grand kids. We have time. 

During this past year living and working at home became taxing. What was at first novel later required active thinking to keep interesting. Movies and guitar and wine helped. Hiking and running helped too. Nothing filled the imminent void. The nest would become empty. 

Last month while on a hike, after a late night of discussion and a decision to stay put, we crafted a plan. We would sell the house, buy an intermediate place, wait for the real estate market to cool, and explore our next living options while we wait. This felt good. Then we thought about waiting out the market far away. Perhaps in Santa Fe. This thought gave us enough enthusiasm to start the process. The next day I asked my boss for another work from home year. He said maybe. 

Since then, we have priced out homes, found realtors for both ends of the deal, secured storage for the things we will keep, found a drop off for things we will donate, and formed a plan. 

Tonight we purged two more rooms. Trash barrels are filling up. Donations are in the car - ready for drop off. Furniture is getting emptied out. 

The next chapter lies ahead. The clutter of yesterday is being purged. We will eat together again tomorrow. Whether it be sunny or not. 

Explore and Exploit

In a world of life-long learning, we are faced with a decision every day. Do we explore new things or do we exploit old learnings. There have been numerous studies on this topic, feel free to search for "explore and exploit" for a quick overview. Here are some of my thoughts.

In normal situations, when the stress of life is familiar, we have a bias towards exploring or exploiting. This means that some of us prefer learning new things when we have the ability to choose what's next, and some of us prefer building on or simply using existing knowledge when choosing what is next. Learning new things could be as simple as learning one more song on the guitar or as complex as learning a new language like Russian or Chinese or Swahili. Using existing knowledge could be as simple as playing an old favorite on the guitar or reading a book in your native language

In normal situations, we choose between explore and exploit without even thinking about it.

A twist on this story is stress. How do we choose in times of stress? How do we react when a stressful situation forces into explore when our bias is towards exploit or vice versa?

Stress reveals different biases. In times of stress, some people gravitate towards the familiar. They prefer situations that induce less additional stress and this makes life more manageable. For other people, times of stress increase a desire to try new things. This can appear inconsistent but it is quite normal. Stress encourages us to look for ways to reduce stress. Unconsciously, we know that trying something different can break the chains of stress. At least sometimes. So while times of stress may  make it look like some people are bouncing around as they try new things, this is a common and often unconscious strategy.

External events have influence on how we choose between explore or exploit. Changes in our home, community, or workplace may require us to explore new ideas when we would rather be exploiting existing knowledge. External events and stress are compounding factors. External events will bring their own stress, force your decision on explore and exploit, and trigger the need to choose against your own preference. This is a common challenge which can manifest as feelings of inadequacy of incompetence. It is reasonable to expect that new stresses will make us see areas where we are uncomfortable or less skilled that we would like. It is OK to acknowledge these situations as external factors and not personal failings.

Recognizing your own bias towards explore and exploit and seeing how external stresses influence your ability to pursue your preferred option can help keep stressful situations in perspective. One strategy to manage external events that force you to explore when you would rather exploit is to spend more of your spare time doing things that are familiar. Additionally, if external events force you to repeatedly exploit existing knowledge, you might use your spare time to learn something new - like Chinese or a new recipe.

50 years, 50 days

We cleaned out the basement. Once. We filled some bags and filled the barrels and stopped for the day. It’s been more than 50 days of working from home. The warm weather has taken the edge off the corona fears. We are still home. The garage is clean. The spring plantings are done. The masks are made. And we are home. Why wait? Live now! We have lunches together and dinners together and catch up on Netflix.

So what is next? Another basement sweep? New guitar tunes? A zoom meeting with friends?  These are tough choices. I’m glad to have options and sad for those who don’t. 

Fifty years have brought me wisdom. Fifty days have brought me a clean garage. Will it be fifty more days at home? Very likely.

Racial Empathy

I started this post a few months ago and am now getting back to it so I've added new content. Enjoy.

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Recently I attended a discussion on Race. Here are three points that I'd like to share.

History is rife with racism. Since the 2016 election, racism is back in the spotlight. While I did not grow up in the 1960s, I imagine that the feelings about racism have not changed much since then. In discussions about race or between races, ignoring the influence of local history can stall the conversations. As the same time, focusing on the past without a problem grounded in now and headed towards the future is unlikely to bring about effective change. These changes must come from both sides of the power differential. In every racial divide one side has greater power than the other. Those with lower power want to engage those with lower power in resolving the differences. This is a challenge. Those with lower power need to find common ground with those of higher power to affect change. Those with higher power need to suspend judgment long enough to hear and understand those with lower power.

As with many things in life, racism is not simple. People don't simply fall into one of two groups: racist, and non-racist. Helping people deal with problems of race is sometimes done with the right intentions and sometimes it keeps the lower power group in the position of lower power. Jokes can have the same unexpected impact. While a joke may sound funny to some groups, racial jokes can keep the higher power groups in the lead. Policies also have unexcpeted consequences. While excess political correctness and extreme caution in speech can be paralyzing, it is eye opening when you discover how a sensitive audience reacts to help, jokes, or policy that have race specific implications.

Who you are is not set in stone. Who you are and how people see you are both fluid and influenceable. Perhaps years have gone by and you are sure people see you a particular way. Maybe that's true. What if it's not? Accepting that you and others have limits, a colorful history, areas for improvement, and areas of excellence is all part of being human. However confident someone is, they have limits and baggage - just like everyone else. Of course, the opposite is also true. However low a person is in another person's eyes, they have their own areas of excellence. One of my favorite movies is Unbreakable. The idea is that for every person on one end of the super-hero spectrum, there is an equal and opposite super hero out there. The movie has fun psychology  - I've watched it several times.

Accepting others faults starts with accepting your own faults. The harder it is to accept your own faults, the harder it will be to accept faults in others. Accept your own faults. Acknowledge your own goodness. Acknowledge your own excellence. Accept that you have good things to bring the world and that others are not as bad as they seem.

Now I don't live in a bubble of super hero movies - while that might be fun. I accept that there are people who have issues that make them too challenging to be around. You can't fix everyone. I'm OK with that. But even though some people are broken beyond your ability to repair, if you find yourself generalizing the behavior of one person to all the people in their class, you might want to ask yourself why. Why is it essential to generalize one person's behavior to a broader class? Often, generalization is a strategy to simplify. Generalizing to simplify is a recipe for failure. While it may help in the near term, it will fail in the long term. Small specific problems are solvable. Large general problems often are not solvable.

Be open to your own areas for improvement. Be open to areas for improvement in others. Keep things simple. Keep things small. Make your world and the world around you better as you go.

It is clear to me that there is more to racial inequity than the shocking headlines. It is also clear to me that it is impossible to avoid some impact from every comment or action. I focus on having the right intention. While having the right intention won't always lead to right action, right intention is a good place to start. It is also OK to declare that a particular approach - be it help, or policy, or discussion - is not working. Stop, and try something else. Too often we push hard for a solution that will not land.

Moving on

This is a post I started month ago. I wonder if it still holds true. Here it is.

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Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.

If that were the motto of our president-elect, I could put aside most of his rhetoric. To rise above the fray and become a superstar in modern society, one must make some compromises. Each of the recent candidates made compromises both publicly and privately. Many of these required value judgements that do not align with my values. Unfortunately, when we can't pick all the personality traits of our presidential candidate, we must accept a few undesirable traits.

Whether I think the current president-elect was the better of the two candidates is no longer relevant. What matters now is how do we move forward. Here are some strategies.

1. Data has served me well in my life. Let's look for ways to keep data driven decision making in the foreground.
2. Simple incremental change has generated buy-in faster than broad sweeping change. Let's keep our eyes on distant goals - e.g. job availability, justice equality, and sustainable living - while focusing on immediate changes we can make today.
3. Simple systems out perform complex systems. Even the most complex systems only operate well when they can be broken down in to simple parts. Overly complex systems or policies become unwieldy fast.

All this comes down to simplicity. Note that my first comment is about data. Although simple systems and simple incremental steps are essential, data is the guide to the vision.

Presidential Election 2016

Trust - who do ya?

Trust - what makes U a real lover?

Trust - I put this question to ya

-- Prince

I like song lyrics. As a teen, I found a lot of peace in music - partly because of the rhythms, partly because of the words. Some songs brought peace through both and I listened to those songs more.

This year the United States elected a new president. The election campaign started nearly two years ago when the Ted Cruz announced he would be running. This is the longest election season I've experienced. At 46, I've really only seen seven election cycles and I've not paid much attention to them. Until now.

Going into the election, I had thoughts about values. I value my family. By extension, I value my job, the economy, and the environment. I also had thoughts about integrity, common decency, and effectiveness. Looking at the candidates this year, I sought a candidate who shared my values on all these fronts. That candidate did not exist. While one candidate was strong on effectiveness, they were weak on common decency. While another candidate shared my values on the economy, they did not share my values on integrity. These are my values. Yours are likely different. I was faced with presidential choices that left me cold in several ways. In the end I decided that one candidate was the best match for my values and voted my conscience. That candidate did not with the race. Now questions are coming up.

Was I wrong to believe what I believed about my candidate? Was the information I accepted as truth not true? Were the issues that concerned me as important as I thought? Did I waste my time and energy this year getting pulled into a media show which was low on information and high on visceral content?

This is a question of trust. Do I trust myself to spend time on things that really matter? Do I trust myself to hold fast to my beliefs without being blinded by them? Do I trust the people around me to provide valid and relevant information? Do I trust that the decisions I make will continue to provide the lifestyle I've become accustomed to?

As of today - a mere 5 days after the election - I don't have strong trust on many of those fronts.

I learned something this election year about handling the bad and the good in life. It is often hard to remove the bad. It is easier to displace the bad with good. For example, when I find myself eating too much sugar, I eat a pice of fruit.

To help me rebuild trust in those areas I mentioned, I plan to start simply. I plan to spend more of my time doing things that rebuild trust and less time doing things that erode it. I will spend more time building and sharing my talents so I'm clear on my strengths.

Music continues to be a source of peace for me. I played my guitar more this year than I have for decades. I even learned a few new songs.

Adding more peace and reason to my life will go a long way to displacing the loss of trust.

Climate Change FAQ

 Climate Change FAQ

For several years I've been curious about solar power. In elementary school I used a magnifying glass to ignite leaves on camping trips. In high school I learned about solar cells and the ability to get electricity from them. In college while earning my degree in electrical engineering I was intrigued by the work of an on-campus solar startup that later went public and hit it big. Now, well into my 40s, my neighbors started putting solar panels on their roof. As a homeowner, I am cautious about incurring risks to my house. So I wanted to know whether the neighbors installing solar shared my concern for their investment or perhaps were drawn by other interests.

During a several month research effort, I discovered three things. First, rooftop solar is economically viable in our community and on my house. In fact, I will earn back nearly twice my investment in less than 20 years. Perhaps sooner, depending on how much electricity we consume. Second, installing rooftop solar adds wear and tear to your roof. I might have looked more carefully at replacing the roof before installing. Alas, that ship has sailed. And, third, there are many people with passionate opinions about solar energy and climate change.

Intrigued by this passion, I decided to do some reading, some asking, and some more reading. My first discovery was climate change is an area with very passionate opinions. My second discovery is that the science is obtuse. So I read some. In fact, I bought four books and read them all.

Given all this reading, here is my own, highly simplified, climate change FAQ. I had fun gathering this information and hope you find it useful.

1. Is the climate changing? 
1. Yes. Findings in my readings put this at "very likely". Very likely is a statistician's phrase meaning "there is a 99% chance that the climate is changing".
2. Is the change due to human activity?
1. Yes. Again, my also readings put this at "very likely". There is a 95% chance that human activity has a large contribution to climate change.
3. Should I worry about it?
1. No. The economics of continuing human activities that contribute significantly to climate change are becoming too expensive. People are choosing some climate friendly alternates now and will choose more alternates as costs come down.
4. Is there anything I should do?
1. It's up to you. Here are three easy ones.
1. Use less energy. This will translate to lower utility bills.
2. Use green energy. Install solar if it is cost effective for you. 
3. Get informed. Conversations and information help a lot.
5. Where can I learn more?
1. I went to a book store and found several current books. Find one that you agree with and find one that makes your skin crawl. If you want to know what books I started with, drop me a line.

Beyond all the scientific, environmental, and political information I gathered through this research, I have a renewed interest in exploring complex - some would say "wicked" - problems. I believe that using research, conversation, and collaboration, people are very good at solving complex problems. I also believe that persistence has rewards.